Mizzpeh

BARING OUT MY SOUL!

LIVE…LIVE…LIVE!!!

I almost forgot how to live.
I had the opportunity to work with and for an influential man. The experience was priceless but the cost I had to pay was too much. I loved my job but I was slowly killing myself working an average 12hours a day without rest. I quit two days ago.

After a month of overworking myself, I realised that it was no use overworking myself making a lot of money and I cannot spend because I might die of exhaustion or end up with serious health issues that will require all the money I made to save my life.

I used to wake up each morning to a healthy breakfast, spoke and met my friends often. I had time for myself. I slept and had enough rest every day. I always remembered to pray. I watched tv, read, drunk wine and laughed often. I lived. But when I started my managerial work, I stopped doing all these things. Even getting 5 minutes to call someone was a luxury. I always forgot to do so many little things like eat or clean my room. I had no time. It is true that some people can be so busy they actually forget to call their loved ones because I have lived it.

Most often I came home after midnight and I was grateful I had no nuclear family to come home to because they would hardly see me since I have to leave early in the morning for work and return late in the night.

Today is my birthday. It is a new beginning for me. I will not overwork myself ever again. Any work that requires that I have to be exhausted every day, I will not do it. I do not care if the pay is huge. What is the use of money I cannot spend?! I want a job with a flexible time so I can do other things as well. I want to spend time with my loved ones. Two months ago I lost a friend and I have still not mourned her, because I was too busy working. While all my friends had time to go visit her family and mourn our dear departed friend, I was stuck at work. While everyone remembered her with memories I was just quiet the whole time because I know while they were spending time with her, I was working.

Work and money is good, but I will not kill myself because of them. The greatest wealth is our health, without our healthy we cannot work to make money. So I have decided my health is more important than money. I know people who take their medication every day because they were too busy working and neglected their health, but now she spends huge sums of money to take care of herself. I do not want to end up with health issues like her. While I have my health, I will take good care of it.

Unfortunately not everyone can quit their tedious jobs, but try and make time for yourself and loved ones. Ask for a day off and just live. It is better to live sometimes than not live at all. If you are fortunate to have a job that requires little time, then make good use of your time.

Live. Live a little. Live sometimes. Live a lot. Live all the time. Live always. Live however you can. Just live. I have lost enough people to death and some of my life to work to know the importance of living. You do not need a lot of money to live. You can experience living in so many ways; laugh, eat, drink, hug, smile, dance, sing, talk, rest, sleep, explore, travel, read, watch tv, watch movies, meet new people, pray, fall in love, get married, have children, go on vacations and do all the things that make you happy.

Chale just remember to live!

MY EXPERIENCES WITH “NO” IN BUSINESS

This afternoon a customer told me he was no longer interested in doing business with my startup company Defia Art Services. I was very sad but not shocked because I am used to being told NO since I started running my own business. He is one of the many people who decided not to purchase or commission an artwork with my company after expressing interest. I was very sad because he is a prominent politician and his commissioned artwork would have given me a lot of opportunities. I have not yet asked him why he lost interest, I will find the appropriate time to go see him and ask him.

I do not take failure or being told NO easy, I get very sad and refuse to repeat the same thing for fear of being told NO or failing again. For this reason, I always do things I am good at or ask people I know will never say NO to me. Starting this art business has changed that. I have experienced a lot of failures, disappointments and losses in other aspects of my life except in business, so this was surprising to me. I thought everything would go on smoothly. This shows that that most of the things we experience with our personal relationships and schools, we will experience similar in our business relationships with our customers.

I have been told more NO in the last 6 months than I have heard in 20 years that I can remember. Initially it was difficult for me to continue the art business and I wanted to quit but so many young and talented artists depend on the success of this business so I had to continue. During the first exhibition, I worked with 18 artists and after the exhibition I met more of them. Every night I go to bed knowing that that the success of Defia Art Services means the success of more than 100 artists that I want to work with. So there is no quitting for me, no matter how hard it becomes financially, emotionally and physically.

This afternoon after the politician incident, I became disappointed for a few minutes, then I went back to work. I did not become depressed nor mope over the loss. I dealt with it as part of life, where you lose some and gain some, that is how I have decided to deal with all my failures, disappointments and losses in business.

One important thing I learnt in business is that rejection does not mean you are not good. You can produce the best products in the world, and someone will reject them. It could be due to so many reasons. So I do not blame myself nor my products for being rejected. Maybe the customer genuinely does not need my product, it does not mean the customer thinks my products are not good.

I am very grateful for all the challenges I have gone through so far because they thought me patience, tolerance and determination. Every time someone said NO to me, I worked harder to improve, and also look for more customers who might be interested. No challenges means no extra hard work.

Startups are very difficult to maintain, so if you out there already going thought this, you should know there are so many of us facing similar situations. If you are now about to start your own company, you should be ready for the challenges.

Do not let one person’s NO, end your dreams. Take that emotion you felt in that moment and go work hard till you start hearing YES.

 

 

 

 

JUST DO IT!

I am not good with giving advice because I do not have much experience myself. I believe people need to live to experience life.

In the last few years a lot of opportunities have come my way. I was not expecting them. They are all pleasant surprises and I am grateful for them.

I love writing; plays, short stories, novels, fiction or true stories. None of my blogs contain any of my stories. I only rant on my blogs not advertise my stories or share them. There are some people who read my rants and think I am a good writer. Through this I have been given a lot of opportunities to write for them, given a book deal and got a job at a radio station. After working at the radio station for a few months, I got enough experience to start my own Advertising Agency. With my experience as a radio producer and co-hosting radio shows, I can work in the radio industry. So through writing I have gained more skills in other fields.

If you are good at something, passionate and love doing anything at all, just do it. Do not seek for the approval of others. Compliments are flattering and makes us feel good and motivates us to do more and better but do not let these compliments make you pompous. Whether people are aware or not just keep doing it or them. It could be painting, writing, drawing, fashion or singing.

Make sure you invest resources to improve yourself.
Example: You love painting. Keep painting, one day you might meet someone who collects arts and through your conversation they will find out that you paint. They might want to see your works. This becomes an opportunity to show them everything you have painted. They can buy or even recommend you to others. Just imagine you can paint but because there are no opportunities to showcase your talent you refuse to do anything about it. When you meet someone who loves arts, there would no examples of your works to show them. It might be too late to make a new one to show them.

So all I am trying to explain is, keep doing what you love doing. Even if you have to write a thousand poems, do it. Write them down. In the future those 1000 poems you wrote will be your chance to greatness. Before I got the radio job, the manager read my blog posts to determine whether I was qualified to work for the radio station. I was not told to write anything new to determine my writing skills. My old blog posts got me a job.

Do not wait to meet people before you do what you can do. Just do it and save them. I have been writing since I was in primary school and I have saved them all. These old stories of mine are the ones I show to people now.

Continue doing what you do best. There are people watching. At the right time, opportunities will chase you.

Always hone your talents.

Just go for it, reach for greatness!

UGLY HARD WORK OVER BEAUTIFUL PROSTITUTION

Within the last 8 months, I have been offered a lot of money, furnished apartments and some opportunities in exchange for sex. I have started my own company, rented a furnished apartment and made my own money within 8 months. I had the choice to either take their offers or succeed on my own and I chose the latter.

Easy money from not working hard is enticing but not rewarding. There are a lot of opportunities that come from having sex with the right people at the right time. You do not have to work extra hard with your brains nor talents. Making your own money through hard work is very rewarding. I have some dignity and pride knowing I can achieve success through my talents and brains.

Some of these people in positions of power know it is difficult to get jobs and use sex as bait to hire or help people. There are so many gullible people who unfortunately in the hope to earn a living take these sexual offers. It is hard to reject some of the good deals these perverts offer. Sometimes I wondered if I made the right decision by walking away.

I am grateful to every disgusting pervert who wanted sex from me before hiring me for a job, getting me jobs or giving me any opportunity. Every time I turned you down, I worked harder to achieve what you wanted to give me. I do not have a lot but I have enough to be content.

I wake up every morning in my own bed knowing I do not have to have sex with any pervert to maintain my lifestyle or survive. It took a lot of hard work for me achieve to all the things I own. I will continue to work hard to achieve more. The bigger the success the worse the perverts I have to deal with. With my experience in rejecting prostitution to survive, I know I can make it.

The best part about working hard to make my own money, is that I am not scared of someone disappointing me or threatening to stop providing for me. I am not indebted to any human. I have gained so much experience through working that will enrich my career to get better jobs. Prostitution will never give me the experience I have gained because I would not have made the extra effort to succeed.

Hard work eventually pays off, sometimes it takes a long time but the reward will eventually come. You become an expert in your chosen field with genuine credibility that people might come for advice from you.

I am fortunate to have lived with my mum who is a successful hardworking single mother and I learnt a lot from her. She told me never to ask a man for money to survive. She taught me how to work to earn a living.

Prayer is also an important part of my success. There were days I became depressed and nearly gave up but instead I prayed. I believe by praying I got some very essential opportunities.

To anyone who has decided to work hard using your talents and brains than through prostitution, continue with your work and never give up. Take advantage of every opportunity you get and speak to successful people. For the theists, pray. Eventually your success will come.

You can always contact me if you need help in anyway or want someone to talk to. We need to have a dialogue about the struggles some of us go through to earn a living because we rejected sexual favours. Hopefully we can help each other and get some of these perverts arrested or removed from their positions of power.

THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN SEX

Life entails a lot of things and sex is one of them. You can be obsessed with sex but do not drag me into it with you. I have more important things to do with my life than talk about sex all day and every day. We can talk about it every now and then but it should not be the main topic of every conversation we have.

The struggles in life are hard but they are worse for women, especially for women from poor families and the black race. I have to deal with so many things before I can be successful. Like chauvinistic men who think I do not deserve my human rights, disgusting perverted men who want sex with me before they employ me even though I am qualified and racist people who think I do not deserve some opportunities because I am a black person. These are the things I want to discuss and fight for.

I want open-minded friends that I can discuss the economy, social, sexual, spiritual, health and financial issues. If all you want to discuss is sex then we cannot be friends. Maybe your life is good so your only problem is sex but I have more serious problems to deal with. Let us discuss how we can improve every aspect of our lives not just our sexual lives.

I want to know everything about you. The things that make you happy and sad. What are your goals in life? How can we improve our society? What are your deepest fears? Your sex life is your private life and you can decide to tell me about it. I do not want to know everything about it nor discuss sex with you all the time. I want to get to know the real you not just your sex life. I want to be able to sit with you in the garden with red wine while we discuss the challenges we are facing at work. I want to bond and connect with you on intellectual issues.

Sex is important but it will not solve all the problems the world is going through nor improve my life. The things that will improve my life are those I want to discuss.

APPROPRIATE APPEARANCE

Appearance and knowing the appropriate cloths to wear for different events are very important and since I hate to dress up to go anyway, I prefer to stay home.

I love casual cloths. They are so comfortable and simple to wear. I love clothes that I do not have to iron because I hate ironing. It is easier to grab a pair of jeans or shorts with a shirt with flipflops than wear a shirt suit with high heels. Sometimes I wear formal clothes to formal events like weddings, but I return home quickly to remove them so I can wear casual clothes.

Recently I started my own company, so now I have to attend a lot of meetings, formal parties and meet important clients. I have to wear formal clothes to most of these events. I wish I can wear casual clothes to work and to all the formal events every time but unfortunately I have to endure the formal clothes. Since I work for myself, I can wear casual clothes to the office but I have decided to wear formal clothes. All my workers have to wear formal cloths too. It is important we all look presentable at work every time.

When I started my own company, I realised how important it is to wear the appropriate clothes to meet clients, business partners or to formal events. You can win or lose important clients and business partners based on your appearance. Society has made looking formal to meet certain people or go to certain places mean you are more presentable. People judge your appearance. The more presentable you look, the more serious they will take you and give you respect. Formal clothes makes us look more presentable than casual clothes.

I wish I can hire someone to attend all my formal events for me so that the person wears all the formal clothes but unfortunate I have to attend them myself. I need to be there to meet or talk to clients, business partners and make decisions for my own company.

Life is about endurance. I will try my best to endure all the formal clothes. Until casual clothes become accepted to formal events, I continue with the struggle to dress up to work and for formal events.

FIRST TIME CURATING EXPERIENCE

Yesterday was the opening of 3 days art exhibition I organised to promote some young Ghanaian contemporary artists. This is the first time I have ever organised or curated an art exhibition.

The preparations before the art exhibition felt like pregnancy and I am going through labour to birth the results. I have 2 days left for this art exhibition to end and all I want to do is just enjoy the result of my hard work.

I am exhausted. The preparations were very tiring and expensive. I am really proud of what I have achieved so far with this art exhibition. I got a lot of support from people especially the artists I am working with to exhibit their works. While writing this post, one of the artists called me to congratulate me for organising the exhibition and he encouraged me not to give up.

My emotions are in a whirlwind right now. I am scared, nervous, anxious and excited at the same time. I want to believe what I am doing will yield results and that by the end of the exhibition, I have helped promote indigenous Ghanaian artists and art. Sometimes I become pessimistic and my team members remind me to remain optimistic. I keep telling them I doubt people will attend the art exhibition or buy any of the art works. Most often I remind myself to pray but I assume my prayers will not be answered so I refuse. I am in a constant state of confusion.

First time experiences are most often nerve-wracking. Doing something for the first time most often makes me anxious. I want perfection but I know I might not achieve it because it is the first attempt. Most often the first time is never perfect, you need to repeat in order to achieve perfection.

I am grateful to my team for helping me organise this art exhibition and they are also going through similar emotions like me. We did this together.

 

 

KITCHEN TABLE TALK: YOUNG BUT EXPERIENCED

Older people are always acknowledged for being more experienced than young people in most things. This is not true. Just because someone is old does not mean that person has more experience than a younger person in some things. Sometimes, being older older does not mean you know or have experienced everything.

I have been called an amateur at doing certain things even though I was experienced at doing them, just because I was young. There are so many young people going through these problems because unfortunately they are considered too young to be an expertise at a particular field. A 25 year old mechanic can be more experienced at fixing a spoilt car than a 40 year old mechanic. This 25 year old mechanic learnt to fix cars at age 15 while the 40 year old mechanic learnt at age 35. Yet most people would prefer the 40 year old mechanic to fix their spoilt cars because he/she is older hence they assume is more experienced.

Age should not be the reason young people are losing opportunities. We young people should be given the chance to prove our worth by our experience and not by our age.

There are so many talented young people who are experienced in so many fields than some of the older people. Sometimes our bosses refuse our help when it comes to some jobs because they assume we cannot do them. They would prefer someone older to do those jobs.

How can young people get more experience if we are constantly being pushed aside and the opportunities are given to older people who are amateurs or cannot do the jobs? If you want a generation of experienced workers, then give the opportunities to the young ones especially those that can do them.

Age does is not equivalent to experience.

KITCHEN TABLE TALK: BULLIES

Bullies are people we can never avoid in life and most people will have to endure them for the rest of their lives. They can be family members, friends, teachers, neighbours, classmates, coworkers, bosses, children or companies.

I know a lot of people including myself who have gone through bullying. It is a painful experience and unfortunately most people are scarred for life.

I started my own company recently and in less than a year I have experienced a bigger company try to bully me, but fortunately I was able to overcome them. They thought I was naive and new in the advertising industry so I will not be able to see through their plans to bully me and take credit for my hard work.

I hear a lot of stories of bigger companies bullying little companies but I did not know it was going to happen to me until I experienced it. I am so glad I did, because I got some experience with dealing with business bullies.

Some bullies will come into your life as friends but in the end their agenda is to intimidate and take advantage of you. I am always on the lookout for people who want to take advantage or intimidate me.

I will meet more bullies both in my personal and professional life and I am prepared to seek all the help I need to overcome them.

Please seek help if you are experiencing any bullying. I spoke to a few people when the bigger company wanted to bully me and these people helped me to overcome them.

There are a lot of people ready to take advantage of anyone to feel superior or become successful. I am prepared to stand up to them. I will not let anyone intimate or take advantage of me.

We have to stop bullies and bullying.

HUMAN MIRROR

Recently I had dinner with a good friend and we talked about betrayals.

I could feel the depth of how profoundly scarred we are by the very people we loved. Maybe we are cursed.

We are damaged goods. Too damaged to be salvaged nor saved and even if we could be, I do not want to be saved. I have fallen in love with this disaster of a person I have turned into and I want to remain in it.

I have become more cynical and distrustful of everyone I meet. I love the games I play with myself about the next person to betray me so much that I actually bet on it.

I actually felt sorry for him.
I feel sorry for anyone who gets betrayed.
The shock and pain that comes with it is so great, very few people can deal with it.

As he ate, I watched how he tried so hard to pretend to be fine.
We talked about other things and laughed but I wonder how much of those laughter were genuine.

I watched him the whole time we were together.
I watched him because it reminded me of my own painful betrayals.
I watched him because he reminded me how much I pretend to be fine, when I am not.
I watched him because he was a reflection of who I am.
Sometimes humans are the mirrors that reflect who we truly are to us.

At the end of dinner I felt more sorry for myself.
I have not healed from my own betrayals.
I am still as damaged as the day I was betrayed.

I stopped being genuine the day I realised people who claimed to love me could betray me in the most brutal ways. Some were family.
Who can I be genuine to?
If after revealing my true self to someone, this person is going to betray me, why bother?
It is due to this, “Why bother?” question I keep asking myself that has made it so hard for me to be genuine anymore.

I looked at him and I saw me.
It was not a good sight.

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